When the Holidays Hurt
Truly, the holidays can be challenging times for many.
In a season where family, love, and life are celebrated, the lack of those very things becomes more apparent than at any other time. Broken relationships taunt and sickness torments us when all we want is to experience the festive joy in which we see others basking.
Christmas cards showcasing adorable children mock the mother with empty arms.
Letters highlighting honor students and family vacations bring feelings of shame to those with a child struggling to merely make a grade and get through to the next day.
That news of ‘happily ever after’ painfully highlights the relationships that fell apart.
We don’t begrudge anyone their accomplishments or joy–for more than a moment, at least —because jealousy and comparison only bring guilt and more pain.
But the reality is when life has not turned out as hoped, the holidays can hurt.
And to top it off, our culture has given us certain expectations for the Holiday season– happy celebrations, comforting tradition, laughter, games, perfect gifts with dazzling wrap–and we think everyone else is out there partaking of perfection, basking in complete joy.
But here’s a little-told secret: Most people are not experiencing these things as fully as we assume.
There are occasions–even hours or whole days where some people might feel completely content and filled with Holiday Joy but for the majority of people, these feelings are only experienced in little moments at a time.
And that’s okay.
Cultural expectations have set us all up to seemingly fail. The momentary snapshots of perfection are not realistic. One Instagram picture does not tell the whole story. The beautiful holiday photo cannot capture the essence of all the emotions and experiences percolating underneath the joy-filled smiles.
Plus, experiencing temporal perfection is not what Christmas should be about. Are fun, laughter, connection, gifts, and happiness good things? Yes! They are gifts to be appreciated and enjoyed to the fullest when we find them in our laps, but there are other gifts, too, and though the packaging isn’t as pretty, the value runs deeper.
Although it is not a popular truth, suffering can be a gift, too.
As tempting as it may be to wallow in feelings of loneliness, comparison, and pain—when the holidays hurt we need to remember our hope lies in the fact that none of our pain is beyond healing, redemption, or even restoration. It’s also okay to allow yourself to feel the loneliness and pain in order to acknowledge that it is a part of you in need of healing, for it is here that suffering can be a gift.
God did come to earth embodied as a baby, lived a life as a man, and laid down his perfect life for every broken life to be made whole. This is the gift hidden in our hurt–every pain, trial, sickness, and struggle can all help us to surrender and find him.
Our loneliness gets swallowed up in a holy embrace. Peace pours in when we surrender to him. Eternal joy trumps the temporary happiness of picture-perfect impossibilities.
Our greatest hope and purist gift can be found in the very best Christmas story ever written. And the best part of all? His story becomes our story when we let him in… a story of love, redemption, and life!
If you are hurting this holiday season, may I encourage you to look to the source of all life, and accept the greatest gift you will ever be offered. For when you receive, he will be with you, and every hurt and pain will ease in the presence of his love.
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the governmentwill be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor,Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LordAlmighty
will accomplish this.Isaiah 9:6-7