When Dreams Shatter

 

The heady scent of lilac always transports me to a time when all was right in my world. Their delicate fragrance immediately elicits feelings of belonging, anticipation, and love.

As a little girl, I spent a good deal of time in the middle of a big hollowed-out lilac bush right next to our long sidewalk which ran from the dusty gravel drive up to the house. Sometimes, the bush served as a hideout as my siblings and I whooped and hollered during a wild game of cops and robbers. Once in a while, it was the jail, other times, the refuge.

My favorite, however, was when it was simply a home.

I loved to play house with my siblings and cousins. One of us would be the mom, another the dad, and a less fortunate child would get the role of the family dog. We would spend hours setting up home in the middle of that big bush, surrounded by sweet, earthy fragrance, acting out our dreams to the soundtrack of birdsong. Overgrown zucchini wrapped in bright red bandanas became our darling little babies. Acorns and leaves flavored our soup pots. 

My hopes and dreams for my future family were as wild and enchanted as our imaginations. Fueled by fresh air, innocence, and a lived experience of what family life should be, idyllic dreams set the stage for my life goals. A loving husband + happy children + obligatory dog = the happily ever after of my little-girl enactments, but also the expectation for the future.

Isn’t happily ever after always the hope?

Perfection always the dream? 

No child ever wistfully dreams of the day their happily ever after shatters. Who would long for a future where their husband chooses the illicit substance over his family? No little girl pretends their zucchini babies are born into heaven’s arms and not their own empty, aching embrace. In the dreamy lilac bush world, the dog was never neurotic, the devastating addictions unimaginable, and all children were special, but needs never completed the phrase. 

When the lilacs were blooming, the dusty purple sprays made the perfect pretend bridal bouquet–their scent as sweet as my hopes, the birdsong a triumphant symphony.

Back then, I never dreamed my real Wedding March would lead to divorce court, nor that my Midsummer Night’s Dream would become as hollow as the bush where I played. But alas, dreams shatter. Life happens. To be human in the real world means pain is inevitable. Addiction takes over. Sickness invades. Families break and dreams shatter. 

The picture-perfect life rarely exists.

When my grown-up life shattered beyond recognition, all dreams of happily ever after were swallowed up in darkness so black I couldn’t see my next step or even one tiny glimmer of hope. Single parenting wasn’t something I had pictured. A spouse’s addiction, bankruptcy, and chronic illness weren’t factored into my lilac-scented equations. My little girl’s imaginings could never have conjured up the enormity of the pain I would one day endure.

Instead of sweetness, the fragrance of sorrow drenched my reality. 

No, my life didn’t turn out as I had hoped.

I dare to guess that yours hasn’t either.

Life’s storms blow through unexpectedly impacting all of us at one time or another. For some, a thunderstorm brings a few broken branches to the family tree, but for others, a hurricane washes a whole life out to sea.

Either way, there is damage. Shattered dreams affect us all.

The list of these shattered dreams is as varied as humanity, and our reality includes things never requested in our prayers: Special needs children, cancer, empty wombs, financial instability, infidelity, divorce, single-parenting, lost friendships, and failed careers. Perhaps you are walking the path of broken dreams and, like me, you’ve struggled to find the light.

Shattered dreams don’t have to equal a shattered life

As painful as shattered dreams can be, disappointment, grief, and suffering don’t have to be our forever stories. Darkness can be dispelled no matter how black. There is a shatterproof happily ever after available to us all. No matter how broken your reality is compared to your dreams, joy is possible. A future so bright it is beyond the bounds of human imagination is offered to us as a replacement for our shattered dreams—a gift of redemption, restoration, and wholeness. 

How do I know this?

I know this because when I was in the darkest pit of despair, Jesus met me there. 

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. –Psalm 40:2

The Bible tells us in the book of Isaiah, that Jesus was a man of sorrow, intimately acquainted with grief. If ever anyone could understand the depths of my broken life and the pain of my shattered dreams, it was Him. Because He suffered, He holds the power to restore. But I had to let Him in. I had to open my broken heart up once again in order for Him to begin to mend it. 

Wound care doesn’t always feel good. Cleansing burns. Stitches hurt. Healing can be itchy and uncomfortable. Phantom pains are bizarrely real. And scars? They often stick around–a lasting reminder of our pain, but also, of our healing. So it is with our souls. Letting Jesus work in our wounds can be painful, but it is always worth it. We may be permanently changed in some ways–but those scars can now point us back to Him. What He offers our battered souls is far greater than our shattered hopes ever were.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” –Psalm 147:3

Amidst the reality of broken dreams, Jesus steps in and provides comfort and peace that truly does surpass all understanding. Idyllic expectations become dim in the light of Him. When we let our wounded hearts become filled with His love, healing takes place and new dreams begin to grow.

Jesus longs to walk with us in our broken places and be the light illuminating the way back to a lilac-scented hope…

 Will you let Him?

“…who redeems your life from ruin; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies;” –Psalm 103:4

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”—Romans 15:13

“For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.”—2 Corinthians 4:17-18

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”—Revelation 21:4