Part 3 in A Series of Unpopular Opinions | #1/#2/#3

So far in the Series of Unpopular Opinions, we have discussed the need for[real] truth to be upheld, and I’ve outlined some big reasons why I backed away from the Enneagram and other personality tests. If you haven’t read those, I encourage you to go check them out.

The next unpopular opinion on my list is why I left the most popular social media platforms, Facebook and Instagram, and what I’ve learned since.

Before jumping in, I want to state that I do recognize that by sharing my Unpopular Opinions, I am probably also losing some “popularity” with a few of my readers. I understand that I’m sharing about hard things, but I do hope you will stick with me and consider the heart of the issues. I am sharing truths I’ve had to wrestle through myself, and I hope to encourage you to wrestle through the hard things, too. It takes courage to evaluate and take a step back from things everyone is doing, but it is easier if you’re not doing it alone. To that end, I’m inviting you into this journey with me, and welcome messages with questions and discussion– none of us need to do this alone!

Why I deleted FB and IG

After twelve or so years on Facebook, the thought of deleting it for good was intimidating. Over the years, I had occasionally considered leaving, but the thought of being “disconnected” always kept me from following through. Once in a while, I would “take a break” when I noticed I was spending too much time scrolling, but I always came back. The fact that using popular social media sites had become so ingrained in me that leaving felt scary should have been enough of a reason to leave. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

So what prompted me to finally delete FB and IG for good?

1. Changes in Other People and Myself

Over the past year, as political, racial, and pandemic posts became increasingly heated, I noticed changes in my thoughts toward many of my connections. I was frequently surprised by the vitriol people were posting, and I had a hard time reconciling people’s online boldness with what I knew of them in person. Social media was starting to feel like a battleground. It seemed sitting behind a screen gave people the license to be unkind and say things they likely would not say in person. I began to notice that time on these sites caused my anxiety to rise and my opinion of people to decline. The benefit of “connection” was outweighed by the negative impact of seeing all the division and anger.

2. Changes to Privacy Policy

The absolute clincher and impetus to finally clicking delete were learning what was in FB and IG’s privacy policy. When we sign up, we all have to “agree to their terms” to use the sites– but does anyone take the time to read them in their entirety? I’m not sure I did before, but when I was alerted to the changes that were being implemented at the end of 2020, I figured I had better take a closer look. What I learned made me delete both Facebook and Instagram almost immediately, and it turns out, they have been doing most of the things I’m concerned about all along (shocker).

I cannot find the link for the original article I read outlining the concerns because I found it through IG (which I no longer have access to, obviously) but here is another article that will give you a good idea of what FB and IG are doing with your information…including, accessing everything you do online–not just on their sites–and being able to use your camera:

AI-based machine learning may be used to determine the content of your photos – think of it as being similar to having an IG employee looking at every photo you take – in fact, anything your camera sees whether you take a photo or not – and jotting down notes about that.

Source

I am not okay with that.

If you have not yet taken the time to read through the Privacy Policy for yourself, I suggest you do so. I found significant reason for concern, and in continuing to use the platforms I felt I was contributing to the problems if I didn’t take a stand against it. Joining the Exodus was the stand I decided to take.

At the time of writing, it has been three months since I’ve officially been off of these social media sites– so, what have I learned?

“In Real Life” Relationships Trump Faux Facebook Friendships

Facebook and Instagram make it feel like we have lots of friendships, but they are not active or invested relationships. Seeing snapshots and reading snippets about someone gives us a false sense of being connected when in reality, there really isn’t a solid foundation.

It seems the “convenience” of social media has made us lazy at truly investing in relationships. Instead of intentionally reaching out to ask how someone is, we passively wait for an update to float across our screen. Rather than a face-to-face conversation, we rely on instant messenger for quick communication. In doing so, we lose the power of real connection.

We have become so technologically connected to the masses that we have “connected” ourselves right out of deep and meaningful relationships.

I recognize that this is not across the board, but I do think the quality of relationships drops significantly when we rely on social media to feel connected, and I’m still learning how detrimental this was in my life.

I have found that since leaving these platforms, I have had richer relationships with those I choose to reach out to without the platform of social media. I do occasionally miss seeing pictures of what others are up to, but overall, how much real connection did that truly foster? Not much, I have learned.

It is easier to be in the moment

Without the temptation of checking my phone, I have found it is significantly easier to be present with what is going on around me at any particular moment. I can be more engaged in conversation, or even more focused on a task or the book I’m reading without the mental distraction/pull of social media. This ties into the next point:

I get more work done

I’m a little chagrined to recognize just how much time I have freed up since leaving the mindless scroll behind. It is rather amazing how those few little minutes here and there add up to a lot of time. The distraction easily ends up sucking away hours of productivity.

(Why the infinite scroll is so addictive: A lesson from behavioral psychology)

A surprising bonus to deleting these accounts is that my writing output has increased dramatically, and I have also completed a couple of training courses that I hadn’t previously seemed to be able to find the time to finish.

Additionally, I have found that in moments of downtime when I might have checked social media to pass the time, my mind has the ability to be more creative and I more easily think of a great phrase to add to my manuscript or come up with the coursework for my new coaching packages.

Our minds need plenty of white space in order to be creative, and when we constantly fill them with the noise of our online worlds we rarely give ourselves the amount of white space we need to be innovative and imaginative. This is an area I have noticed a huge change in myself.

I take fewer photos

This may or may not be a positive result of quitting social media, but it is a real byproduct. I still stop to admire the beauty in my days, but I no longer feel the need to capture a photo of the moment to post on IG. As much as I have enjoyed looking at those saved photos at a later time, the enjoyment I get from simply experiencing the moment has a greater value.

Is it worth quitting Facebook and Instagram?

Yes.

Ultimately, my life is more peaceful without social media.

It has taken some time to adjust, and there are moments I wish I could hop on for various things like searching the marketplace or double-checking the birthdate of a friend (*Tip: write those down before you delete your account!). True, I may be missing out on a few invitations, updates, and events, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

I do not regret my decision, and I venture to guess you wouldn’t either.

What do you think? Have you considered quitting social media?

If you’re ready to join me, here is how you can delete it, too.

***Update after 2 years:

I have been off of Facebook and Instagram for 2 years (December 2020-December 2022). It has been worth it and beneficial in so many ways. I have thoroughly enjoyed not having them. However, in the interest of full disclosure, I have recently made a new IG account because I have a teen who is now eager to be on social media. When he came to me asking for IG, I initially and quite firmly said, “No! not until you are 18.” I gave him my reasons (several times) and he proceeded to do his own research. Every argument I had against it, he had a thought-out answer as to how he will set limits, etc. He also showed me some changes that IG made to help keep teens safe online, including a way for parents to “supervise” their teen’s account. In order to do this, I have to have an account, so rather than hold a hard-nosed line, I agreed that since social media isn’t going anywhere, I would let him have an account on a trial basis so he can learn to navigate it while still under our guidance. It’s not my favorite, but after praying about it, I thought it was a decision I could make and reassess as we move forward. Here’s to teaching and using social media responsibly!

 

Read More:

How to Live on Purpose in an Age of Distraction

How to Live a Selfless Life in a Selfie World