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Body|Soul|Spirit

Humans are incredibly complex beings.

We were created with an intricate body made up of amazing parts and systems. Inside this body lives a soul comprised of mind, will, and emotions, and a spirit in which resides our deepest meaning, purpose, and eternal selves.

All of these parts are beautifully interconnected inside the breathtaking masterpiece of each individual person!

The Spiritual Side of Childhood Trauma

Because the spirit, soul, and body are so intricately connected, when a child experiences trauma, all parts are affected. Emotional and psychological health, spiritual health, and physical health are all impacted by trauma in some way. Therefore, we would be remiss to exclude any of these areas on the path to healing.

²³ And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. –1 Thessalonians 5:23

We’ve talked about the importance of using nutrition to physically promote brain healing and begin stabilizing your child so the deeper emotional and spiritual work can begin. I’ve also shared multiple tips for every day “trauma parenting,” as well as resources for understanding the physical and emotional changes that happen when a child experiences ongoing trauma. In this post, we’ll begin to discuss the spiritual side of childhood trauma.

(You can read more about childhood trauma HERE or the importance of brain food HERE)

What are the symptoms displayed on the Spiritual side of trauma?

Spiritual symptoms are really all the typical trauma symptoms. It’s more a matter of understanding that the child’s spirit is being affected as well as the mind and body.

Your child may:

• display anxiety with “unknown” causes
• experience frequent nightmares
• have an illogical fear of separation from caregivers
• have a need to be the center of attention at all times.
• explode with anger that doesn’t match the “offense.”
• disassociate or disengage when a stressor occurs
• display consistent anger toward God or authority figures
• have low self-esteem (may be expressed by talking themselves up or putting others down)

If any of these symptoms describe your child and you’ve tried other methods to help them heal but they still seem stuck in these patterns, it might be time to consider the spiritual side of relational trauma.

There are many areas that could be discussed, but the two I’d like to touch on now are the Spirits of Rejection and Abandonment. This may bring you outside of your comfort zone, but I invite you to hang in there and explore how the spirits of rejection and abandonment may be affecting your child.

If a child has experienced the loss of important relationships through events like foster care, adoption, death, or divorce, it is likely they have become a victim of a Spirit of Rejection or Abandonment.

In his book Deliverance for Children and Teens, Bill Banks states: “One of the most common spirits we have found to be present in troubled children, especially in those children who have been adopted, is that of the spirit of abandonment.” He goes on to explain how once a child has been abandoned, an intense fear takes up residence in their souls. Subconsciously, they are afraid they may actually die. If a parent abandoned them, whether, through death, divorce, or adoption, children will likely carry the fear that their current caregiver will also abandon them and their needs will not be met. This type of fear can be the root of extreme behaviors including things like food-hoarding and stealing, traits that are fairly common in adopted children.

Rejection and abandonment cause immense pain and grief in the soul of a child. If healing and deliverance do not take place, these spirits can cause life-long issues for the one who’s been “abandoned.”

Use Wisdom in Choosing Therapists

I believe a good therapist can be truly beneficial in the right situations and with the proper timing. However, I would gently caution parents to use discernment in selecting a therapist.

The mental health community is absolutely aware that the spirit is affected by trauma, but without a Godly, Christ-centered perspective of healing and deliverance, many therapists guide their patients through practices such as meditation, energy healing, grounding, and yoga to promote “spiritual healing.”

These methods are becoming more popular in the mental health world, and although these practices may bring a certain sense of healing or peace to some, I believe it is a false healing– not true spiritual freedom.

In fact, these practices may lead to more bondage and spiritual confusion.

(I realize this can be a matter of opinion. I don’t mention it to cast judgment, rather offer another perspective.)

If your child has experienced situations where rejection and abandonment could have entered, it might be a good idea to consider other avenues of helping them with the spiritual side of healing.

Ways to begin Spiritual Healing

1. Gentle (not scary) deliverance ministry/prayers: Pray for your child while they are sleeping. Pray that God’s love will fill the gaps and heal the wounds left by rejection and abandonment. Pray specifically that those spirits would leave. Have your children participate in age-appropriate deliverance prayers as you feel they are ready. (Great examples of how to do each can be found in Deliverance for Children and Teens.)
2. Forgiveness: There are immense healing and freedom to be found in forgiving one’s offender/abuser (or the one who abandoned). However, forgiveness cannot be forced and your child may not be ready to forgive for a while. Any form of abuse can cause deep wounds that may only begin to heal once forgiveness is granted. It’s important to note that forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation, nor does it mean that what happened is ok. This is an important distinction to teach children. What forgiveness does mean, is choosing to release the anger, pain, and bitterness in exchange for spiritual healing and freedom. Holding on to unforgiveness doesn’t hurt the other person–but it continues to hurt the one carrying the hurts, anger, and resentments. (Read: The Importance of Forgiveness in Healing Trauma).
3. Renewing the mind with scriptures to rewire thought patterns: What has been damaged in the brain through trauma can be healed with the truth of God’s Word. It will take consistent and persistent effort on your part as the parent to keep planting the seeds and watering them. Eventually, they will take root and grow. Scientific research has shown that it takes 21 days to begin to rewire thought patterns in our brains. The weight of rejection and abandonment need to be consistently replaced with God’s truth in order for our children to heal spiritually.

Start Small

I realize if this isn’t a topic you’re familiar with, it might sound a bit intimidating or ‘out there.’

For an easier starting point, here is a post with a free printable of affirmations to begin speaking truth into your child’s heart: Spiritual Affirmations for Children

Additionally, one of the easiest ways to put God’s Word into our children’s minds and hearts is through music.

Children who have experienced trauma often have trouble with bedtime (or sleep in general). When all is quiet and dark, it’s easy for fears and memories to creep in. We’ve used The Word of God from Seeds Family Worship, and my son has memorized scripture quite easily from hearing these songs as he goes to bed. The more truth begins to fill our children’s minds and hearts, the less room there will be for fear, rejection, abandonment, and anger.

Choke out the bad with the good!

Scripture Lullabies or Seeds Family Worship

My intention here is merely to get you thinking about the spiritual side of healing from trauma.

If you want to know more specifics on the spiritual side of trauma and how to heal, I recommend reading the books mentioned. There is far more information than can be discussed in one article.

The books contain thorough explanations as well as guidance on how to apply what you have learned.

Is this an area you have explored? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

♥ Lindsey