Preventing Child Abuse: How You Can Help

April is Child-Abuse Prevention month. Unfortunately, cases of abuse are far too common, and this is a conversation we need to be having consistently…not only during one month of the year.

Child abuse is a term which in general, includes four main categories: neglect, physical abuse, emotional (psychological) maltreatment, and sexual abuse.  Our communities are crumbling now more than ever, under the increased pressures stemming from stressful pandemic measures. Sadly, neglect and abuse cases are rising. Social service systems are overtaxed with the difficult job of stepping into these situations after abuse or neglect has occurred. Rarely do they have the opportunity to prevent it from happening–once it gets to them it is often too late.

This should make each one of us pause and consider our role as a society to work towards preventing child abuse.

It can be easy to turn a blind eye or pass judgment on “those terrible people” but rarely is it as black and white as we may assume.

Before we talk about prevention, I want to offer some perspective by asking you to think about a time in your own life when you went through something incredibly difficult.
Maybe you lost your job and you didn’t know how you were going to make ends meet. Perhaps, you ended up with an unexpected health problem that landed you in the hospital at a moment’s notice. Maybe depression or anxiety held you in a grip that felt impossible to get free from. Maybe your spouse left and you suddenly became a single parent. Whatever the case, each one of us has gone through hard things.

I know it isn’t fun to remember them, but, just for a moment, I want you to remember how you felt in the midst of your hardest circumstances. Were you scared? Did you feel lost, unsure, desperate, or angry?

Maybe you’re a little like me and you have experienced all of those emotions at once because things felt so hopeless.

Remember those feelings for a moment more.

Now, I want you to picture the people in your life to whom you turned when you were struggling. Was it your parents? Siblings? An aunt, or close friends? Did you have the guidance of a pastor or therapist? Consider how many times you have had someone help you through tough spots in some way—encouragement over a cup of coffee, advice, a shoulder to cry on, babysitting, financial help, or even a warm meal.
Next, I want you to think about what you would have done if you were not able to turn to these people when you were facing difficulties. What would you have done if you did not have trusted friends and family to be there for you when you needed them?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been through some dark places and I’m not sure how I would have made it through them if it wasn’t for the support of my family and friends. I don’t like to think about where I would be if I didn’t have them.

But do you know that there are many individuals who don’t have many people they can trust to help them when life gets tough?

Without support, tough situations can easily escalate into a crisis, often creating a domino effect that can be hard to overcome.
A stressed-out parent with no support or temporary relief can, unfortunately, lose control and harm their children—sometimes resulting in them losing their children for good. Sadly, many of these situations could have been avoided if the parents simply had the support network that many of us take for granted. Without support, parents who genuinely love their children get pushed over the edge and do things they desperately regret but cannot take back. It is here, in the place of social isolation where the work of prevention can be done.

A few ways to help prevent child abuse:

One avenue to preventing child abuse is through Safe Families for Children.

Safe Families for Children is a non-profit organization–better described as a movement of people motivated by their faith, working to fill the gaps of social isolation and become a network of extended family-type support to people who otherwise do not have the support they need. Since it was founded in 2003, Safe Families for Children has been helping to “stabilize families, prevent child abuse, and deflect children from the foster care system through compassionate care, disruptive generosity, and radical hospitality.”
The goal of Safe Families for Children is to preserve families by preventing the social isolation that so often contributes to crisis-level problems. This is done through the church body serving as the hands and feet of Jesus. Safe Families for Children provides the training and structure which make it easier to serve by being part of a team– a “circle of support,” consisting of Family Coaches, Family Friends, Host Families, and Resources Friends. There is a place for everyone to contribute. If you do not have a chapter near you, consider reaching out and learning how to get one started.

Reach out to your neighbors

We live in a society where independence is celebrated.  It seems the days of knowing our neighbors, let alone engaging with them in a significant way, are in the past. However, there is a lot of potential benefits–beyond borrowing a cup of sugar–in knowing our neighbors. So many people live surrounded by other people yet remain isolated.

As helpful as structured movements like Safe Families for Children can be, the truth is, we do not need a program or organization in order to make a difference. All we need is a willingness to engage with others and to draw people into relationships. If we are not connecting with those around us, how can we notice when they could use a helping hand? Even a few minutes of intentional conversation can be a lifeline for someone who is struggling. If a relationship has been established, chances are higher that a parent who could use a break would feel more comfortable asking for help. Give that warm smile, offer that cup of coffee and chat, be a shoulder to cry on, be a safe place for children to play when that neighbor simply needs a break…ask for that cup of sugar if that’s what it takes to start the conversation!

Be intentional in your own home

Ultimately, prevention begins at home. In order to raise individuals who know how to treat others well, we need to raise our children with intention. Movies, video games, and internet usage all have the potential of exposing our children to violence as well as profanity and inappropriate sexual content–which will numb them to what is right and wrong. Media has a huge influence on our children’s lives and it will shape them. It is our job as parents to monitor what our children are ingesting and to set appropriate limits on what they are exposed to so they do not learn inappropriate ways of treating others. We need to engage with our children and develop secure, healthy relationships like their lives depend on it. This is not an area to take lightly and has the potential to make a huge difference in our society over time. 

Be willing to ask for help yourself

As well as being intentional in raising our children, we need to be intentional about recognizing our own needs. Parenting is hard. There are times when every parent needs help. There is no shame in admitting when you could use a break or someone to talk with. Be willing to reach out when you’re feeling overwhelmed. 

If we all do our part, we can make a big difference in preventing child abuse. It is a large and increasing problem, but small steps conquer big mountains. It begins with one relationship at a time. 

Read More:

How to Stop the Cycle of Brokenness

A Christian Response to the War on Children

Prevention is Best: One Way to Help Lower Childhood Trauma Statistics