Why do I feel empty?
Why do I constantly feel like I’m missing out on something?
Why do I always want more…
More…but…more of…what?
How is it, that in an age where we do have more of, well, everything, we feel empty, craving more of something despite the endless options spilling out of our lives in every corner?
Closets brimming with clothing, shelves overflowing with books and decor. Endless aisles of food choices to satisfy any craving. And if we can’t find it on the shelves of our local stores, anything we can think of is just an Amazon click away. Any song we fancy at any given moment can be heard in mere seconds. Entertainment? The choices are endless.
Our calendars are full, keeping us always hustling to the beat of near insanity. Activities fill our schedules, yet the empty ache of loneliness, or dissatisfaction gnaws in that place deep within.
Does this resonate with you? If so, you’re not alone. This feeling of “emptiness” afflicts many people–some only occasionally, but for others is persistent.
Once only attributed to mental health issues, this sense of an “inner void” is now known to be experienced by individuals both with and without an underlying mental health condition. *
It’s a common affliction.
So, what is this emptiness, and what can we do about it?
Before going further, I should state that for some, the feeling of emptiness does stem from a deeper mental health concern such as depression, anxiety, or even personality disorders, and if this is the case for you, addressing it with the right professionals is a wise idea. Or, sometimes, the feeling begins after a significant loss. The death of a loved one can leave a real void–this is normal and takes time to heal. Similarly, experiencing trauma can cause numbness and emptiness. In these instances as with mental health concerns, properly trained professionals can help you find the best pathway for your healing. Even so, there is hope for feeling whole again.
For this article, I’m thinking of the many people who feel an emptiness that they can’t necessarily attribute to a significant event.
This feeling is often accompanied by thoughts of, “What’s the point, Life has no purpose, Nothing I do matters, or makes a difference,” etc. Feelings of boredom, restlessness, and discontentment often go hand-in-hand with the empty feeling.
I believe, that no matter the cause, we will all struggle with this feeling of emptiness at some point in our lives because there is a void inside each one of us that can only be filled through one source.
We try to fill the emptiness with things of this world that leave us unsatisfied at our core.
Our sinful flesh craves the fulfillment of things contrary to the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). Fleshly desires seduce us into thinking that through them we will be filled. We may be temporarily satiated, but the feeling fades and the emptiness returns, more expansive than ever.
Alcohol, drugs, or sex won’t fill the void.
Indulgent foods may stuff the corners of our bodies but leave our souls deprived.
Picture-perfect homes, the trendiest outfits, and cool new shoes offer but a fleeting satisfaction.
Getting promoted, going viral, or “living your best life” only fills us with fluff.
Possessions, positions, passions, and pleasures will never be enough.
None of these things fill the ache, yet we keep stuffing ourselves full of them trying to satisfy every hollow hole.
Children, spouses, or friendships may offer a little more fulfillment, but these relationships aren’t meant to withstand the pressure of total satisfaction. The approval, love, and affirmation of people will never be enough.
You still feel empty because you were made for more.
I was made for more.
We were made for more, but we’re trying to fill up the void with the wrong things leaving us bloated with ever-increasing emptiness.
The only way to eliminate the emptiness within is to replace it with fullness.
It is only by feasting on the bread of life that we will be filled.
Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”
John 6:35, ESV
This is not a platitude or empty promise.
It is not merely “the right” or “churchy” thing to say.
This is the very answer to our emptiness.
The ‘more’ that we were made for is Him.
He is the One who fills all in all (Eph.1:22-23).
Through Him (Jesus), we have access to God the Father, the Giver of all good things, the One who can fill us with all fullness (Eph.3:19) and satisfy every empty recess of our souls.
This may sound all well and good, but perhaps it leaves you wondering how one walks it out, practically speaking, to actually chase away the emptiness.
Sometimes even though truth resonates with our souls, we need to understand how to apply it, or it can feel like a trite platitude.
The very first thing to understand is that if you do not know Jesus, he cannot fill you. Only by surrendering to Jesus and accepting his sacrifice for our sins can he fill us with his spirit.
He is offering this as a free gift: The gift of eternal life to replace the everlasting death we are bound for if we continue in our sins without His intervention. If you have not received this incredible gift, here is where you start. This is the first step toward leaving the emptiness behind.
What if you are already a Christ follower but still feel an empty void?
Perhaps you faithfully check bible time off the daily to-do list, but you’re still not feeling full.
It might be time to check your priorities. Honestly examine how deeply you are feeding your relationship with Jesus versus the world. Truly look at what you’re spending the most time trying to achieve or obtain. A bigger bank account? Dream vacations, and a solid retirement plan? A stylish home and wardrobe? More subscribers on social media? Where we spend the majority of our time, and what we think of most often is telling of our truest values.
Our actions speak louder than our intentions.
Focusing on more of the world will never satisfy. Things will never fill. They always leave us craving for more.
Hurried moments in the Bible, or a devotional read in its place aren’t enough to satisfy our daily need for Jesus. Five or ten minutes with The Word will fill only the margins of the void within.
To become full we must feast.
To feast means to eat or drink sumptuously, or to enjoy some unusual pleasure or delight!
Imagine feasting sumptuously on The Word, Jesus, with unusual pleasure or delight. It is by consuming His word in such a manner that He, The Word, will fill us so we will never be empty again. We cannot consume in this way in only the spare minutes of our days. To find The Word pleasurable, delightful, and sumptuous, we need to develop a more sophisticated palate. We need a fine dining experience, not the empty calories of the fast, easy, or convenience fare we have settled for.
This takes time. And effort.
Eat much, but eat slowly. Drink deeply. Memorize. Meditate on His Word. Let it infiltrate at the cellular level and the emptiness will be replaced with the fullness of the Glory of God. The temptation to gorge on superficial things will fade as your desire becomes for Him.
It does not stop here.
We cannot let getting rid of that empty feeling be the end goal. Neither can it be that we spend time with Jesus only for what else He can do for us.
John Piper said it this way:
Jesus Christ did not come into the world to assist you in meeting desires you already had before you were born again. He came into the world to change your desires so that he is the main one. That is the reason he came.
John Piper, Source
Essentially Piper is saying that Jesus did not come merely to give us bread (satisfy our every worldly desire), He came to be the bread (the very fulfillment of every void). Only when Jesus, the bread of life, becomes our deepest pleasure and greatest delight, will we never hunger, thirst, or be empty again.
And it does not stop even here.
God delights in filling us through his Son because he loves us. But more than that, He saves and fills us for a greater purpose: to glorify Him (2 Corinthians 5:15). If we are not doing this, we will still feel empty as we are not living out our purpose. If we seek to glorify ourselves over Him, the void will return.
(Related: How Do I Glorify God in My Daily Life? | Desiring God)
And lest you think surely it stops here, it does not.
God has also filled us for the sake of His people. We should not be filled with the fullness of God only to keep it to ourselves. We give Him the glory and we serve others, inviting them into the fullness we have received. We are not meant to keep this goodness to ourselves. Our fulfillment grows as we give it away.
We are finally satisfied in our fullness by pouring it back out in service to others (Eph. 2:10).
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
Phillipians 2:5-7
We are called to imitate Jesus by choosing to empty ourselves of our own plans, wants, and ways to make room for His glory and power–for the sake of others.
Choosing this form of emptiness allows Him to fill the hollow making it into a hallowed place instead.
In emptying ourselves for this purpose, we become full.