We live in the age of The Selfie.
What a Selfie is and why it’s important
As ubiquitous as selfies are, most of us are intimately acquainted with the word and practice, but just in case you’ve been living off-grid somewhere (go you!) and are wondering what a selfie is, I’ll define it for you:
According to the Oxford English Dictionary (yes, the word selfie was used so much that Oxford Dictionaries named it the word of the year in 2013!) a selfie is defined as a self-portrait, usually taken with a smartphone, and shared, via social media.
Selfies are increasingly prevalent. According to recent reports, around 93 million selfies are taken worldwide per day. Females between 16 and 25 years old spend five hours each week taking selfies (source), awarding that demographic the trophy for the most selfies. However, people of all ages, male and female, are snapping numerous pictures of themselves. On
Beyond the obvious concern of the reported deaths, why should we be concerned about these selfie statistics?
As our social-media news feeds fill up with selfie images, perhaps we should be asking why they’ve become so popular.
I’m not the only one expressing concern. Because this trend has grown so quickly, studies are now being done about the habit. Research is showing several main reasons people are becoming so ‘selfie-centered.’ Attention seeking, mood modification, social conformity, and bolstering self-esteem top the list. Apparently, getting likes, comments, and follows, causes a rush of dopamine– much like taking drugs– which only lasts a short time before you’re looking for the next boost. Can you see the addictive trap?
Oddly enough, although people are posting selfies and scrolling social media as a means to feel better about themselves, the opposite is actually happening. Various studies suggest that the more time we spend scrolling social media, posting selfies, and looking for affirmation in likes and comments, self-esteem is actually lowered and depression rises. Eating disorders and suicide rates are also higher since the advent of social media. The beautifully airbrushed and staged images presented lack authenticity and give the illusion that everyone “but me” has an amazing life, and the discontent with one’s own life grows.
This should concern us.
The selfie world is feeding us (and our children) the message that “it’s all about you!” yet happiness remains elusive.
I’m certainly not implying that social media is all bad nor that we should never post a selfie. There are plenty of wonderful things about social media–keeping in touch with friends and family has never been easier, and developing virtual friendships across the globe can be great!
Additionally, there’s really nothing wrong with taking and posting an occasional selfie as long as we’re able to keep our motivations and expectations in check. In moderation, selfies can be a fun way to foster connection and show the face behind the words. However, we should never look at the number of likes and follows we get to give us worth, yet it seems that’s exactly what is happening to a vast majority of people.
Social media–with all the good, bad, and selfies– is not going anywhere anytime soon. So how can we live in this selfie world without falling into the sticky trap of self-centeredness and discontent?
How to be selfless in a selfie wo rld, and why it’s important
Being selfish is defined as “regarding one’s own interest chiefly or solely,” so selflessness would be the opposite: regarding other people’s interests over our own. It might be hard to think of selfies as selfish, so perhaps self-centeredness (being preoccupied with oneself and one’s affairs) is a more fitting descriptor. Either way, our ‘selfie media world’ has us increasingly focusing on and promoting ourselves while believing it is normal and beneficial. However, self-centeredness is anything but beneficial, and just because “everyone is doing it” doesn’t mean it’s normal.
William Bradford said, “There is no happiness in selfishness. It is a sin. Its products are misery and loneliness.”
Obert C. Tanner powerfully stated, “The only way to free ourselves from the prison of selfishness is to pour out our lives in love and service.”
And most importantly, Jesus taught that if anyone wishes to become great, he must become a servant (Matthew 20:26).
So it would seem the antidote to the selfie epidemic is serving.
Serving others counteracts the selfish and self-centered tendencies of our human nature.
Being self-centered is ultimately not fulfilling and leaves people feeling discouraged, alone, and empty. In contrast, focusing on and serving other people produces greater happiness and fulfillment.
In the act of pouring ourselves out for the sake of others, we become full.
Practical steps toward serving others over self:
- Set limits for social media use
Since a huge contributor to our self-centeredness and lack of time to truly do something for the sake of others is often directly related to the overuse of social media, a wonderful first step would be to intentionally set limits on our time spent using addictive sites.
It can be surprisingly hard to stop the habit of checking our phones numerous times a day and feeling like we must share
Perhaps you can manage to set time limits for yourself and adhere to them, but it’s possible you will need to enlist an accountability partner in order to reset your habit to a healthy level.
If you’re feeling ready to jump in for a total reset, consider doing an intentional Social Media Fast to help you refocus your priorities.
See: What I Learned from Leaving Facebook and Instagram
2. Use the time you would have spent on social media to refocus on what matters most.
We learn in the Gospel of Mark how to best order our priorities:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength. The Second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31, NIV
The first part shows us that our number one priority is to take our focus off of ourselves and fix our gaze on our Heavenly Father. Then, when our hearts are properly devoted to Him, the second part–loving others– will become easier. As we are filled with love for and from God, it will more easily pour out to others.
Loving God and others isn’t about mere feelings of affection.
“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
1 John 3:17-18, ESV
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
John 15:12-13, NIV
The previous passages of Scriptures give a pretty strong indication that pure love is more than lip service. Love actively sacrifices for the sake of others. Laying aside our own interests, agendas, and self-promotion in order to serve is real love in action.
Recommended Reading: Love Does, by Bob Goff
3. SERVE.
There are endless opportunities to serve– don’t let the overwhelming needs paralyze you. One cannot fulfill all the needs, but we can all do something.
Even the smallest act of service has eternal value when done with the proper motives.
“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.”
Matthew 10:42 NIV
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
Colossians 3:23-24, ESV
The first step could be as simple (yet significantly impactful) as more intentionally serving those under your own roof. In reality, our selfie-focused social media addiction is hurting the very relationships that should take our best attention. Instead, we are serving them our impatient, inconvenienced, messy leftovers while putting our best face out to the virtual world. Let’s change this.
Beyond serving our families, we should always be aware of the needs in our own communities and be willing to lay aside our self-centered interests in order to serve others with the Love of God.
Let’s not let the temptation to highlight ourselves on social media drown out our ability to glorify God through humble service to others.
Our time will have much greater value and lasting impact when we–on purpose–focus on living a selfless life in this selfie world.
It may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it.
Take it further: 100 Bible verses about serving others
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